the first poem I've written since school got out

Not sure how to preface this...

It's PG-13 at least...so if you can't deal with that shit, then skip it

here goes:

Dr. Strangelove

I love the way that you moan

And how you breathing gets short

I put my body on loan

And you tear me apart

You'll kiss me for the thousandth time

Lips come soft against my skin

In synch- poetic, like a rhyme

Warmth glows on your cheek from off my grin

You'll grab me by the hair

And dictate my next action

We always fight, it's never fair

Yet we live for the satisfaction

I'll sink my teeth into your shoulder

Just so you'll shove me back in place

Will we play when we're much older?

Will I still crave your taste?

Eyes closed, bodies pressed

Neither sure what comes next

Except the promise of another caress

I've never had better sex

don't forget to sing in the lifeboats

Graduation was today!  Seven years at DSA are officially over, and thank God.

I got some sweet gifts, but this one was special.  My cousin Laura decorated a journal for me!

The front

My BFF Lady GaGa with her Hair Hair Bow on the back!

I can't wait to take it to europe and write everything down!  No losing it this time (I lost my first good journal that I actually kept up with in europe 2006)

In other news, project grad was basically lame.

A cop let me run a red light on the way home because it was so long.  She took a right turn, did a three-pointer and then made a left where it was green.  She said "You can go, just don't get hit"

My party is tomorrow.  Things are still stressful but I am trying to cope.  I'm really focused on my trip and having a fun fun fun time tomorrow.

I also got a book, which has the same title as this post.  Its full of quotes, lots from people out of my AP Euro curriculum.  Here is one from Erasmus

"IF you keep thinking about what you want to do or what you hope will happen, you don't do it, and it won't happen"

I think I should know by now

I need to go to bed

The senior play is happening in a matter of hours.  I am scared, but excited, because in my rational mind the audience will love it and not notice all the mistakes that will be made.  In my director's mind, everyone is pissing me off because they aren't on top of their shit when I've told them to call me if they need help and they could have and should have done that by now.  Tomorrow will be what it will be.

Dear You,

Fighting sucks.  We're not good at it.  But I'm not wrong.  Neither are you, as you like to think.  That is our problem.  I'm allowed to be angry.  You are blinded by your own stupidity (I have another term for it, but I'll save that for something else)  Why are we so good and bad together all at once?

Love, Me

That was a poem, or so I like to think.

Tomorrow is my last real day of school.  I'll be going back cause I'm a nerd and would like some alone time with my teachers, they've been real good to me.  I'm DONE.  It's hitting me.  I need to be done.  Seven years is seven too many.

Making the house music playlist was fun, I'm proud of it.

I'm going to bed.

Ode to S.K.S.

I have spent seven years in this place,

Made and lost more friends than I can remember.

Of all the people who’ve been here as long as I,

All the people I’ve known this whole time,

You are the only one who I can think of

When I’m trying to think of

Who have I know best since I’ve been here?

What friend have I had since the very beginning?

 

 

The funny thing is

We didn’t like each other at first.

And I remember the Christmas decoration party

That I wasn’t invited to

But I didn’t really get it at the time.

And after that we went from

Thick as thieves,

And on the fritz;

There and back

A hundred times,

But a constant bond.

A sense of pack loyalty,

A solid friendship.

 

 

Seven years have passed,

And when I think of you

I think of someone who is beautiful.

Someone who has put up with

My asking, “Guess what I have for lunch!” every day,

And talking too much in class.

And someone who I’m sure is thankful,

For not getting mad over the razor sharp sarcasm,

Or the tumultuous mood swings.

 

Sometimes the green bile

Builds up, and burns my mouth.

But I spit it out, quickly,

Knowing and thankful,

That you are sweet,

And that more than

Cancels out the venom.

 

If you had talked to me

Seven years ago,

And made me guess

Where I’d be,

And whom I’d be with

For the next seven,

I wouldn’t have had a clue.

But looking back on those seven years;

I can’t imagine a single one

Without you.

Elegy for 3rd Floor Carr

The stretching stairwell

Big windows would pour in light

The climb up a long and sweaty process

The sour candy of every student and teacher

Harsh at first, but deliciously worth it

A long hallway: one sided

Stretching across

Four rooms holding

The Gods of our school

The four teachers that

Everyone wants to hang out with

This floor a Mecca for

High school cool

Each room, wide

High ceilings with

Big windows that

Stretch up and across

Leaving a sense of nostalgia

Even on your first day

 

These classes are history

People, places, and sarcastic commentary

Every mouth cracks jokes

And teaches us the things

That we really need to know

I remember the first time I went up

It was before school, a morning club,

And I was a baby, a freshman

Bringing vanilla chai to my sister.

The room was filled with celebrities

And they were in the penthouse

And I couldn’t wait until I was that cool

And I would have my own club

Up in the only place for the coolest kids.

 

But even heaven can’t last

Because now the 3^rd floor

Sits uninhabited

A mere fossil of

Its once great glory

Aching to be visited again

By every true believer

In Durham School of the Arts

 

Soon it will be torn down

Like the rest of our

Dangerous and homey

Julian S. Carr building

 

Closing of the third floor

Has already bruised our hearts

The wrecking ball that will destroy this

Will smash our minds

Covered in lead paint,

Asbestos and the air conditioners

That shoot ice shards at us

I took a trip up the elevator once

And looked around the hallway

That means so much to all of us.

Most of the doors were locked

But one room was not.

I took a deep breath in

Of the famous and old fashioned air

And my eyes examined every detail

And I prayed that tomorrow

We’d all be back there

Making jokes and complaining

About the hike up.

 

I don’t get my senior year

On the 3^rd floor

I don’t get any freshman

Bringing me vanilla chai

Looking wide-eyed at me

And my friends like we’re superstars.

And I certainly never get

To go on field trips to

The nearest café with my

AP European History class.

 

The times are different now

We are forced into

A shiny new box:

The New Building

 

Children don’t learn respect

For the seniors in that building

Non-curriculum lectures are hushed

By authority strolling in

Every class period.

 

Creativity can’t plant itself here

The dirt is tightly packed

And sealed over with pesticidal plastic

When the 3^rd floor was a

Loose and healthy dirt bed

For the uncommon minds

To explode in a garden

Of originality, bugs and all.

 

 

 

 

There is nothing more we can do

But rip the New Building plastic

And churn the dirt ourselves

And pray that something

Inspirational will still grow.

Yah, Dahling!

s my last post (which I will likely delete) was angry, I decided to take a trip down a happ

Seeing as my last post (which I am likely to delete) was rather upset, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and a look at the future.  I'm going on a trip on the 16th: Copenhagen, Lubeck, Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris; it's going to be with some of my schoolmates and just an all around good time.  I went on the France trip my freshman year, worked my ass off and saved a ton of money to go and ended up getting to turn 15 in Paris.  This next trip should be twice as magical!

Here are some pictures from the old trip:

These British kids at the Mon-Saint Michele thought we were awesome.  See if you can pick out the one whose thong was hanging out in the front.  They thought we knew Paris Hilton and were downright smitten with out american-ness.  Let's hope that happens the next time around (only older and hotter and sexy dudes instead of slutty girls)  They were really fun and cute though

A lovely picture of Anna and Kathleen back in the day on my very first trip.  They're goregous and photogenic even as freshmen 

I think my single favorite part of traveling is the graffiti that is to be found.  Kramz became our personal favorite, it was right across from our first hotel in Paris

My three best friends from school!  The loveliest ladies I could imagine; honestly they're the greatest and this year and my whole time at DSA would be nothing without them

This has been the signature picture for my graduation.  My mother says that it's very Mary Tyler Moore

My amazing tour guide Mr. DuBose (who will be on my next trip) with a certian hottie flight attendant named Xavier.  Kathleen and I actually ended up in the back of the plane dancing to Madonna with the flight attendants.  I was ruined as soon as some stupid american kids thought to play fall out boy.

And for the upcoming trip:

A canal in Amsterdam!  It looks mesmerizing, and the trees remind me of Durham, only skinnier

Copenhagen at night!  I'm so ready for the nightlife.

The Grand Palace at Brussels!  It's going to be goregous (plus it's only $2 american dollars for a pint of beer whereas it's around $8 american dollars in Copenhagen and Paris)

Lubeck is a small German marine town.  I'm very excited because the beer will be good and it should be laid back and rather pleasant.  Some people hate the way German sounds, but I love it!

Some Amsterdam graffiti.  I'm so excited to scout out my own and take a million pictures

Copenhagen in the daytime.  Our first day landing is pretty much frolic around the city.  I will be taking pictures of every fashionable person and cool thing for Miss Anna, and I will be bringing back lots of gifts for all my fleefs

Things are still super stressful, but I am trying to focus on the upcoming good.  Today was my last real exam, so I'm rather relieved.  Let's hope things are heading in a better direction!