stranger things have happened

can't predict the future. even for the scary shit.


I wish things were a bit warmer


but winter ain't so bad


thank god I'm a lucky person

danger song

There once was a man
That cried like a child
He escaped and he ran
But the burn wasn’t mild

Then there was a girl
That was frothy and spoiled
Though aware of the world
He said, “Listen, child-

I’d slice up the moon
If you needed me to-
You’ve got a harpoon
That’s caught me right through
It’s the things that you do,
The things that you do,
I’m just not immune
To the things that you do”

She held onto her breath
In result of her fear
With a hand on his chest
And one more on a beer

Though clothing was scarce
And the kitchen got hot
She said she was scared
Though she liked him a lot

“I can’t hold a tune
But see what I can do
I’ll sing to you, croon,
Til you beg me not to.
It’s the things that you do,
The things that you do
I’m just not immune
To the things that you do”

She begged to move slow,
She was scared of the fast
But in the after glow
Those words didn’t last

She could feel her heat flip
From hot back to cold
For she tried not to slip
Into ways of the old

"It’s the things that you do
The things that you do
I’m just not immune
To the things that you do."

she bargains like a lawyer

I hope you are aware
that I can see right
through your veins.
I like the place
it perches me.
I hope you're not afraid.

I have come prepared
to worm my way
into your brain.
I think it might
be working.
I hope you're not afraid.

I'm loading up the
deck so I can
finally win the game.
You've brought
a lot of chips.
I hope you aren't afraid.

I've sewn my mouth
to quiet while you
drove a girl insane.
But I'm not
crazy this time.
I hope you aren't afraid.

I strive to thrive
over you, turning
pleasure out of pain.
You can't go
back after this.
I hope your aren't afraid.

I'm sucking all
your blood, your
body will be drained.
Your platelets taste
like candy.
I hope you aren't afraid.

I'm lying on your
pelvis. I can tell
you're glad I came.
We both know that
nothing compares.
I hope you're not afraid.

brooklyn in the south

I am going home this weekend! I couldn't be more excited.
there are some big plans, and lots of familiar wonderful things.




which should kill my writers block and I'll have something legit to post.
good things are ahead. home and halloween. a recipe for creativity!

hold on, I'm comin

all I wanna do is
smooch smooch smooch smooch



As Kate Nash said in one of my all time favorite songs "I'm not in love, I just wanna be touched"






not in
but there is definitely some love.
being boy crazy is never great
but I've got some great friends
so who really gives a fuck
right?

gotta love on all the little things


graffiti is something I love



gotta keep it hood

don't trust a ho

Sometimes I still think this is true
for us. But I'll have you know
right now, that I am over
you. I have new guys in
my life that are
way cooler and
better than
you.

P.S. As I remember
things, you're the
one that went
and fucked
it all
up.

say my name

I feel I must suggest;
spell my name with an 'x'
it amps up the appeal of my sex-
new and different, demands respect
demands, commands,
so pushy, and damn
walk with con-fi-dance,
and I ain't got a man.
no, I don't I need one
so I can have fun
'cause with all the drama,
you know I am done
and when it's with men,
that's all that you get, hun
don't be fooled by my tools-
words I press together
in ways you ain't heard
Absurd? I concur
And yet I protest
Because I put in my best
It's this poetry thing
that gets stuff off my chest
Write it out, I say "yes!"
sigh with relief
to get out my piece
so I can kick back, release
so if I die tomorrow
I can rest in peace
knowing words that I'd leave
would give life after me-
not arrogance, memory,
(tying in ideas, you see)
so my diction has friction,
so I don't ask for permission
to share my verbose vision
to get out of the prison
and get close to my God,
I'd like to believe,
but it's hard
he's got no business card
so I grip to the shards
of truth in the stars
on mercury and mars
but down here, it's fast cars
how to get into the bars
and roll my tongue on the r's.
I can change up the scheme,
shock you with the next
open up to my dreams
or fufill a request
work on a theme,
an ending you don't expect.
I won't keep it clean,
so please spell it with an 'x'.

jai ho!

nebulas!

I was trying to do these earlier


but I realized that they only show up as text while I type, and they turn into pictures once its posted

either way, nebulas are the coolest, and I love to look them up

on a totally unrelated note, I've been thinking very seriously about studying abroad, as has my room mate lindsey


I want to go to India. The program I'd be doing would be taking me to hyderbad at the university of hyderabad

only 2000 students, in a city of 8 million or so!


it's where the n. idian and s. indian culture meet



lots of cool cool stuff, including the largest film industry in the world


When it comes time to actually go, I'll post more. It's a long way off but I couldn't be more excited

ch-ch-changes

tried to put up pictures of nebulas, but it didn't work. I'll put up some cool pictures or some writing soon, but blogger is being pooty right now.

switched up the layout colors and the title.
I feel like I need to make this cooler
I should write more.
My english teacher is very enthusiastic about my next project, which makes me feel good.
gotta go to class, I promise next post will be cooler and invlove pictures or something truly creative

let's go girl, this ship is sinking

Will probs go back and edit this, but it's my first short story I've written in awhile, so I wanted to go ahead post it.

"How'd you end up with that tattoo? He questioned, tracing his fingers around the bottle of Cheerwine colorfully imbedded in her shoulder. He loved her soft pale skin; it was the perfect canvas for ink.
“I gave an artist money, and he tattooed me, same as everyone else.” She replied simply. He laughed.
“What I mean is, why a bottle of Cheerwine?”
“Why not?” She smiled and cocked her head, biting into a peach. Juice ran down the sides of her mouth.
“Did you get it as a memory from home? Your own tiny symbol of North Carolina pride in the big city?” He sat up, looking at her from across the bed.
“Something like that, yeah.” She bit in again; a little too close to her hand and sent peach juice sliding down her forearm. She licked it up from her elbow to her wrist, maintaining eye contact. He shuddered and took a deep breath.
“You are so beautiful. You know that?” He crawled over and kissed his way up her arm, the same trail her tongue had taken. It was still sticky, and he could feel the peach burning his lips, as he was slightly allergic. This time, it didn’t bother him. She laid down, her head in his lap.
“You’ve been telling me that since high school, but thank you. I get told things by men all the time, a genuine ‘beautiful’ is refreshing.” There was a pause. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, nuzzling his way to her ear.
“Please quit your job.” He whispered, pleadingly. She sat up slowly, pushing her auburn hair back and sighing.
“You know I won’t.” She kissed his mouth, and continued working her way from cheek to ear.
“Then why aren’t you charging me for it, huh?” He asked briskly, sliding his head away from her lips. “I don’t get it.” She sat back against the pillows.
“Chefs still cook on their own time. Artists create draw and sculpt for fun. It’s my trade, my art. Some have even said my calling.” He digested the words uneasily before he spoke again. It showed on his face.
“You didn’t answer my question. Why me?” In his head, he couldn’t fathom why a woman so beautiful who charged hundreds by the hour let a man as plain looking as him got special treatment. He looked across at big green doe eyes that were calculating an answer. She climbed across the strew comforter and pillow, sat on her knees and leaned right in his face.
“Because it was always you. When I wasn’t cool, hated myself, was spotted with acne, or was a raging bitch to everyone, you still did everything you could to try and spend time with me. Once I started working up here, I realized that I wasn’t going to be tending to the types of guys who genuinely make efforts to stay in touch with their high school crush. The men I work with have intense disdain for that sort of unrequited love.”
“Is it still unrequited?” He whispered, unable to maintain eye contact. She kissed his eyelids.
“Yes and no. It’s love…but not quite.” He looked up at the ceiling in a way that made her think he was looking for an answer.
“I can’t understand. I can have you clawing at me and screaming my name, but I- you don’t…” Tears welled up in his eyes before he could finish. She lifted his chin up with her forefinger and looked him dead in the eyes.
“Understand. It was fantastic. It always has been between you and me. I mean it. You’re wonderful, and I care deeply about you. You’re one of the best men I’ve ever known.”
“Then marry me.” He nearly demanded, with full eye contact. Neither spoke for a moment. “Marry me, quit your job. We’ll go to Copenhagen. Or Kingston. Cairo or Buenos Aires. Anywhere, we could go back home, even, to North Carolina. Say yes, Marilyn Jane Westford. Say yes.”
“You already know the answer.” Her eyes were apologetic as she squeezed his hand. She got off the bed, looking around for her clothes. He watched her slide into last night’s skirt and top, stuffing the underwear in her small clutch. The lace was poking out of one corner, despite her efforts.
“I don’t understand you. I never will.” He watched her struggle back into her heels from last night.
“You don’t have to.” She leaned down and pressed her lips to his for what seemed like an eternity. His eyes begged as she walked toward the door, plastic key card in hand. She turned her head around to look at him before she left.
“You told me once that I was like Cheerwine with the way I got everyone drunk off happiness. That made me think, because soda is terrible for you. It looks sweet, tastes great, but it’s all camouflage for the poison. I got the tattoo as a warning label. Your analogies were always in depth and dead on. I’m no exception.”

she said she loved me, won't leave me, won't ever let me go

"I love college!  Ayyy!"  Okay, I know that song is dumb, but that phrase does hold up.  Found lots of old pictures and new ones.  They remind me of good good times.

Jules, Me, Megs.  Two of my lovliest ladies!

some DSA kids all decked out

emilie as Mrs. Norris

Tristan is so Sirius

Melonius and Leah B as house elves!

Amy, Maddy and I

BIG crowd

I think Jules took some of these

Me as Hermione

FAIRY

Some serious crowdage

Hail, Hail, the gang's all here!

a taste of SUUSI...the delicious doughnuts that K and I bought for the road trip.  I could go for some right now...

Nostalgia, nostalgia.  Classes are going well over here.  I'm kicking ass so far, but I need to kick my own ass so I don't slip up.  Spending lots of time with lovely people.  Here are some of them:

The fabulous Anna Kennis, my room mate and a non-facebooker.  She brought astrology books that are now my life.

Me in my brant-new 80s dress.

Lovely Lil' Lindsey May!

Maria and her purple daisy dukes (I know, I'm fucking jealous, too)

Linds, Taylor, Me Anna

Super Squad?

I think YES!

Things are awesome.  It's easy to say that in a beautiful city surrounded by beautiful people.  I better keep it real though and watch myself.  I could end up becoming one of those

moonshine and pancakes

my first college paper, I turned it in today:

The way my people used to eat were very different.  One was sent all around the world, delicious home-cooked meals no matter where he was.  He grew up knowing that sweet tea was to be brewed, a grilled PB&J was the way to go, and a beer after mowing the lawn was something to appreciate.

            The other was stuck in the very same spot for 18 years, and the food put on the table was just that.  She grew up knowing mom and grandma’s cooking, picking spaghetti for birthday dinner, and seeing a clear example of what too much booze can do to a man.

            He joined the hippie movement- brown rice and eating gourmet on a tiny budget with his first wife, who only ate the M&M’s out of the trail mix.

            She earned her way to college, eating whatever she could afford, and went on to Boston and to a catering job.

            They met at a wedding, he was a guest and she was working.  She captured his heart through her excellent taste in soul music after the death of his first wife.  They raised two daughters, and despite their respective pickiness, we were all bound together by our love for food.

            It was clear early on that I was a foodie.  Telling my kindergarden teacher that my ham and cheese sandwich was a marriage of flavors, loving raw oysters from the first time I tried them, bringing bottled Starbuck’s frappachinos for lunch in elementary school.  One kitchen renovation later, and I started to become aware of how important food was to us, as a part of family life. At this time, I also started to realize the other side, that many people did not sit down and eat dinner as a family.

            As I got older, our unconditional love of food became more obvious, almost a joke.  Planning out meals while eating, my friends and I cooking elaborate late night snacks.  My preference of prosciutto, my sister’s obsession with goat cheese, my mom’s love for almonds and dark chocolate, and my dad’s penchant for locally brewed beer.

            For my people, food is not just what’s on the table.  It’s an on going history, an art of combining earth’s bounty into perfect human fuel.  It’s something to look forward to.  It’s the first question I ask when I get home, and one of the things I knew I’d miss the most in leaving home.  It’s sacred and delicious.  Hard work and well worth it.  It ties us together so tightly because we love food and eating almost as much as each other.

I come prepared

I've been a little absent.  I'm sorry.  I got whisked off to wilderness experience and then school started.  I made it through my first week of classes, which is amazing.  The classes are amazing too.  Everything here is really fabulous, there are a ton of Durham folks.

But most importantly, my room mate and suitemates are amazing.

Here are some mini pictures

Lindsey, Me, Taylor, Anna

Us again, being silly

I'll put more pictures up as time goes on.  I'll put up poetry as soon as I write something.

College is truly wild.  I got invited to a party by my trip leader the first night back from wilderness.  We backpacked, rafted, and canoed all week and then I got to come back to a fabulous suitemate, a nice hot shower, and a kegger.  So much fun and nature all in one place.  Asheville certianly is the place for me.  I've met so many people who say they're from wherever but found this place and are staying here for the long haul.  It really makes you think that the future is closer then I might like to think.

Boring post, but I'll make things interesting soon.  Promise!

do you see a girl like me and a guy like you?

I just got home today

I'm road tripping again tomorrow, to the beach

I came from Radford, VA for a week of madness

welcome to suusi

meet my pals

derek

ryan

elisa

devo

jakers

jake and sarah schmader

me, very excited with a rather apathetic jake schmader

Jake Squared

Jake told Jake that they should take a photo for their album.

this is the product

marveling at ryan's body hair

k and jake

they act so badass

but in reality

they're total sweeties

but we still break necks

some of us are gorgeous

then the dance parties commence

prom gone oh so wrong

k lookin right at prom gone wrong

office party! rather tame

rock n roll heaven. schmader was a kardashian, I was britney circa '99

"keep your hands offa my man" was playing, so devo and I had to stage a dance fight over jake

he was very confused

and all of us getting tasties at the local sleven

back at the dorm

things get wild

devo with willy jr

but we also sun worship

lookin fine

but getting wild. sarah likes my locks

momma with willy jr

and now even artsy

we're all happy campers

the week was awesome.

YA dorm was great

with the exciting chats

awesome caberet

some good times at cache

lots of late night nonsense

upon getting home and seeing this

it strikes a cord

things weren't perfect, but god, were they great